


Sorrowful Memories

by mystichoi



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Codependency, Depression, Divorce, F/M, Heavy Angst, I feel like this fic is one big trigger warning, Infidelity, Major Depressive Disorder, Marriage, Mental Breakdown, Reader Is Not MC, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, i will try my best to portray this mental illness right, jesus take the wheel i dont think i can handle this, this is not a happy fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-13
Updated: 2017-08-28
Packaged: 2018-12-01 20:34:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11494242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mystichoi/pseuds/mystichoi
Summary: It was like he wasn't even trying to hide the fact that he was cheating. What did she have that you didn't? Why was he keeping you around if he didn't love you?Why were you still alive?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I would just like to clarify one thing.
> 
> In this fic, the "reader" isn't trying to kill herself because of Saeyoung. He is not the sole reason why the "Reader" will try. Yes, he's in the reasons, but it is mostly due to her mental health that led her to the choice.
> 
> Now, for the angst.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings for suicide attempt in this chap

The signs began to show only a year into your marriage. 

His 'job' would take him away for multiple days at a time. He began to act more distant - any intimacy shared between you two had dwindled. No nights spent beneath the sheets, no random quickes shared anywhere. He began to keep it minimal, with a few kisses here and there and saying the dreadful 'I love you' whenever you began to doubt.

But then, he stopped caring.

He was rarely home. You spent more time with Saeran than you did with him. He came home 'tired' and rarely interacted with you or Saeran. His younger twin always gave him a hateful glare whenever he would appear, which you would brush off. You merely thought that the hate was stemming from their misunderstanding in the past.

But one day, when you both retreated to bed, he had the nerve to remove his shirt.

There was scratch marks on his back and little crescent shaped marks on his biceps, as if someone had gripped him tightly and sink their nails into his skin.

You felt nauseous. Your heart sunk to the pit of your stomach, the evidence of his infidelity disgusting you to the core.

You often ask yourself why you didn't leave that day. Why you didn't scream at him for cheating, throwing your ring at him and leaving. But you knew exactly why.

You were weak, and you loved him. God, you loves him so much that it was pathetic. You were so dependent on him, your happiness depended on him. You knew the moment you left him you wouldn't survive a day by yourself.

God, you were so weak.

Saeran told you that he was cheating on you with MC. The newest member of the group. Your friend and assistant.

MC was a pretty woman. She was everything you weren't. With her long, pretty hair, amber eyes, and a body that you could never achieve even if you tried. You understood why Saeyoung would cheat on you with her. Hell, you would too.

Your mind was growing worse by the day. You flushed your pills down the toilet days ago, now that no one was there to hover over you to make sure you were taking them. Saeran tried getting you out of the house while Saeyoung was gone, but you refused every single time. He'd make food for the both of you, but you merely picked at it before throwing it out when he wasn't paying attention.

Logging onto the messenger was a chore. Zen had picked up on your absence and Saeyoung's, always trying to pry into your business and ask what's wrong. You appreciated it, but you didn't want to be bothered.

You slept to pass the long hours where Saeyoung would go out to hang out with MC. Your dreams were plagued with him. But the scenario never changed. 

He brought MC home with him. With his arm wrapped around her, he'd ask for a divorce and kick you to the curb. Saeran did nothing to stop him. MC wasn't even paying attention to you; her eyes were staring up at Saeyoung lovingly. You used to look at him that way. The dream ended with you taking you life at the bridge were most people go to die. The Suicide patrol would find your body hours later, but could do nothing to save you.

You were already dead.

The sound of your bedroom door opening woke you from your dream. Your eyes groggily opened, vision blurred for a few mere moments. You sat up instantly, thinks that Saeyoung had just walked in. He'd be a few hours earlier than usual, but maybe that meant something happened. Maybe they-

"It's just me." Saeran's voice called out as he approached your side of the bed. Your excitement dwindled, eyes dimming as you met the red-head's gaze. In his hand was a plate with a neatly made sandwich with an assortment of fruit on the side. "I've brought you food."

You attempted to give him a grateful smile, but your body didn't want to respond to your request. "Thank you."

He placed the plate in your lap and sat down on the bed beside you, giving you an expectant look. "Eat."

"I'm not hungry." You muttered.

"Bullshit." Saeran snapped. "You barely fucking eat as it is. Don't think that I don't see you throwing out your food."

You fell silent. He must have pretended to not look at you. You placed the plate on your nightstand  and looked away from him. "Please get out."

"Why are you doing this to yourself? You don't deserve this, [Name]! Why are you still with him?!" Saeran exclaimed. You shifted your gaze to your lap, where your hands trembled as they grasped at the blanket covering your lower half.

Why were you still with him?

"B-Because I love him." You answered quietly, just loud enough for Saeran to hear.

"He doesn't love you!"

You already knew this. You didn't need to be reminded that Saeyoung no longer reciprocated the love you had for him.

"Get out, Saeran. Please." You said, closing your eyes and willing for the tears to go away. "Please go."

You didn't open your eyes until you heard him sigh and leave the room, closing the door after him. You wiped the tears from your eyes and kicked the bedsheets off of you. The bedsheets that smelled too much of him. The bedsheets that if you focused hard enough, you could smell the perfume of a woman who wasn't you.

You were so tired. Tired of being pushed to the side as if you were nothing. You felt like nothing. The feeling of worthlessness was growing inside of you day by day, plaguing your mind like a tumor. Every day was spent the same. You'd wake before Saeyoung and make him breakfast in hopes of some sort of praise. He'd eat the food quickly and would be out of the homes moments after. You would sleep, sleep, sleep for hours on end until he returned. You barely ate or did anything else other than sleep. When he did come home, he'd go straight to sleep. Sometimes he wouldn't even bat an eyelash at you.

What had happened to the Saeyoung who 'couldn't live without you'? The Saeyoung who hated being apart from you even if it were for a few seconds. The one who couldn't wait to make you his wife. The Saeyoung... who loved you and not her.

It wasn't fair. Life wasn't fair.

You glanced at the plate beside you. The food could be easily knocked off and the plate could be broken against the floor. You'd get a few sharp shards there, right? But it would make too much noise. Saeran would hear and come to your rescue before you'd be able to pick up a shard.

This is what your life had come to. You were so miserable. So tired that you just wanted to end it all. You were tired of the pain and you were tired of feeling like a piece of shit. It felt like death would be the only way out of this horrible situation. A divorce... it would destroy you.

With newfound energy, you pushed yourself off of your bed and walked over to the closet you shared with Saeyoung. You pulled out a simple pair of Brandt's and a dark hoodie. You changed into these clothes and slipped on a pair of shoes. You didn't bother to sit down and leave a note behind for him to see. The messenger would be enough.

Perhaps you should've sat down and truly thought this through. But your mind was such a mess and these recent days you haven't been able to think straight. Your mind has been muddled with the thought of Saeyoung but ... enough was enough.

You ignored Saeran on the way out of the bunker. You slammed the door in his face and got into one of Saeyoung's car, locking the doors once you saw Saeran stepping into the garage. You felt incredibly guilty leaving him behind, but he couldn't follow. You needed to be alone.

You drove and drove and drove until you reached the city. Saeyoung was probably out here taking MC on a date or something of the sort. It'd be truly hilarious if you came across them on your mission to death.

The tallest building was inaccessible. You opted for an apartment building, where the roof was easy access and nobody questioned why you were going to the roof. You parked his car in some random alley, hoping that you wouldn't ever have to go back in something that reminded you so much of him.

Sitting with your back to the edge, you pulled out your phone and opened up the RFA app. There was a chat room open, and to your disgust, Saeyoung and MC were present. Zen and Yoosung were there also.

You clicked on the chat room and entered.

**[Name] has entered the chat room.**

**ZEN: [Name]!!!!**

**ZEN: omg**

**ZEN: you're here!!!**

**Yoosung: PMG**

**Yoosung: KSDHBG**

**Saeyoung: [Name]! My wife!**

Tears filled your eyes at his words. Could you really leave him behind?

**MC: Hiya!**

You ignored their greetings and questions and began to type.

**[Name]: Words cannot describe how grateful I am for you all.**

**You've giving me so many opportunities and I will always be grateful.**

**ZEN: haha thanks? What's all this for?**

**[Name]: Yoosung. I hope all goes well for you.**

**You're very smart and your career will take you places.**

**LOLOL will not rule your life forever. Trust me.**

**Yoosung: [Name]...?**

**[Name]: Zen. I cannot wait to see you up on the big screens.**

**You will become such an amazing actor.**

**Your fame will only continue to grow.**

**Jaehee. Though you're not here right now, you've been a great friend to me.**

**There is life beyond Jumin's job.**

**I hope you will look for it someday.**

**Saeyoung: Honey???? Are you okay??**

**[Name]: Jumin. You will find love. Stop being to bitter about it.**

**Your company will continue to grow and I hope you will have someone**

**beside you as it does. Thank you for what you've done for the RFA.**

**MC. You were a good friend. But I cannot trust you anymore.**

**I hope you will be happy.**

**MC: What? What's going on??**

**[Name]: Saeran. God. I'm so sorry. You are such a good brother.**

**I consider you my blood. I'm sorry for not appreciating you more.**

**You did everything you could've done. Don't blame yourself.**

**Please be happy. That's all I want from you.**

**Saeyoung: I'm coming home right now.**

**[Name]: Saeyoung. It's useless. I love you so much that it's pathetic.**

**Saeyoung: It isn't!! Please**

**[Name]: I don't know what I did wrong. I tried so hard to be the perfect wife.**

**I gave you the space you needed. I was there when you needed me.**

**I vowed to be there for you in sickness and in health.**

**But I can't pretend like i haven't noticed anymore.**

**You come home everyday with evidence of your infidelity.**

**I pretend like nothings wrong and love you hopelessly.**

**Theres no need to act anymore. You don't need to lie anymore.**

**I won't get in your way.**

**I'm sorry that I wasn't enough for you**

**im sorry that im so worthless**

**im**

**[Name] has left the chat room.**

Sobs wracked your body, the phone falling from your hands. Seeing him act as if he still loved you like he did before confused to you no end. Your mind was in a constant turmoil, causing a throbbing headache to sprout at the center of your forehead. You grasped the phone once more and deleted the RFA app, clutching the phone tightly to your chest.

You couldn't live anymore. You didn't live in a world where you'd be in constant pain and darkness, never able to crawl out of it. In your younger years, you used to find it funny how people had 'inner demons' that killed your self-esteem and ruin who you are as a person. You thought it was all a lie. But it was never been so true up until now.

There had to be someone out there who cared about you. Someone who didn't think you were worthless or pathetic or didn't deserve to live.

You pulled the phone from your chest and unlocked it, dialing a number you had hoped you would never have to dial.

The Suicide Prevetion Hotline.

People were always preaching that if someone ever felt suicidal, that you should call the hotline. But did they serve a purpose? Would they be able to help you?

The moment a foreign voice sounded from the other side of the line, you froze. Your breath stilled and you didn't say a word. The phone operator didn't say anything either, simply waiting for you to say something.

"...Hello?" You whispered, hands shaking.

"Hello there. What's wrong?" The voice belonged to a female and her voice was calm and soothing.

You fell silent once more. Thumb hovering over the 'end call' button, you debated whether or not to spill your entire situation and frustration out to a stranger.

"If you feel anxious, don't worry. You may hang up and call again if you'd like."

"My husband is cheating on me. It hurts. It hurts so bad. My depression doesn't help either. I stopped taking pills weeks ago. I can't think straight. I really want to die. I'm already at the edge of a building." You took a deep breath before continuing. "The sunset is really pretty. It's something I want to remember before I die. I... I don't know why I'm calling. I'm not worth anyone's time."

"Infidelity is a such a painful situation, I know. The pain of loosing your partner always hurts. But you deserve the world. You are worth more than money can buy. An unfaithful partner cannot dictate your worth." The woman spoke. Her voice almost seemed to calm your words.

You stood up and turned around, facing the sunset with bleary eyes. "I did everything I could. I tried being happy for him. For us. I always struggled to be happy, and he made me happy. But he's gone now. What do I do now?"

"You keep fighting. You may not think it now, but your life is so precious. You deserve all things good in life. You deserve to live." The woman responded.

Tears fell from your eyes as you pulled the phone away and ended the call. You looked over the edge and down at the ground far below. If anything, you might not feel the impact. You remember reading somewhere that people die on the way down, but you couldn't be sure. Anything you see or think right now could be distorted by your mind.

You need help. Death will not help.

With the willpower you ddn't know existed in you, you stepped away from the edge and kept walking back until you were out of the roof and in the staircase. A heavy gasp escaped from you the moment you were away from the roof. Taking your time, you walked down the stairs and out of the random building.

When your feet touched the pavement, you looked up at the sky to see how far up the building reached. It wasn't very high to begin with, but the impact surely would've killed you.

The walk to the hospital was a blur. The people who passed by you couldn't even be registered in your mind. People you walked past you took a step to the side to distance themselves from you. You didn't blame them. You were repulsive.

When you walked into the ER, it was chaotic but the liveliness couldn't phase you. You walked up to the front desk where you met the eyes of a tired receptionist, who gave you a confused look.

"What can I help you with, ma'am?" The receptionist questioned.

Oh, how pathetic you were.

"I want to kill myself. Please, I need help."

 


	2. Chapter 2

Hospitals were quiet. Tranquil. Minus the sounds of your heart monitor and the sound of people walking and talking outside, it was quiet.

You were curled up under the covers in the hospital bed, back facing the door. Your eyes were trained on the window, staring at the gray sky that threatened to rain. Your mouth was slightly agape, lips chapped as you breathed in and out through your month. You had cried so much that now your nose was blocked. 

No one had come to visit you yet. It had only been a few hours since you'd been admitted to the hospital, but you still found yourself wondering where everyone was.

Maybe they were glad you were out of your life. Saeyoung could finally breathe now and be with MC. He didn't have to worry about his nuisance of a wife waiting back home for him. Saeran could now relax since he didn't have to worry about his sister-in-law every five seconds. The RFA were happy now that MC could replace you, since you were such a useless member.

Shameful tears welled up in your eyes once more. You couldn't fathom where these tears were coming from. Perhaps it was everything you'd been holding in for the past year since you had found it Saeyoung had been cheating.

Coming to the hospital was a mistake. It felt like a prison and you felt ultimately trapped. You weren't allowed to do anything or own anything. They took everything that belonged to you and anything that could've been used to harm yourself. Two security guards stood at your door, watching your every move. You felt utterly vulnerable and alone.

There was something going on outside. The voices had gotten louder and maybe angrier, though you couldn't tell. You couldn't find it in yourself to care. All you wanted to do was to whither away in this hospital bed and be forgotten about.

The door to your room swung open, causing you to flinch. You tore you're gaze from the window and looked over your shoulder. You paled instantly and your body filled with dread at the sight of Saeyoung stasnding at the doorway. He appeared to be agitated.

He shut the door behind him and approached your bed slowly. You sat up and backed away as much as you could from him.

"[Name]... you're okay." Saeyoung breathed out in relief. "I thought I lost you."

Yor body trembled as you continued to look at him.

"The doctor said that you didn't harm yourself. That you just showed up here and said you were suicidal." Saeyoung explained, eyes narrowing in the slightest. "This better be real. We can't afford hospital visits like this."

He doesn't care about you. He never did and never will.

"Get out." You whispered, hands clenching at the blanket. "Get out, Saeyoung."

"What? No. I'm your husband-"

"Get out!" You screeched, chucking the nearest thing closest to you at him. It was a plastic cup of water. "Get out, get out, get out!!"

"[Name], stop!" Saeyoung exclaimed, trying to come around the bed to meet you.

"Stop it! Stop it, Saeyoung! Stop acting like you love me! Stop giving me false hope! It's not fucking fair!!" You cried, throwing things like your pillows and blankets as you got up off the bed."Why couldn't you love me?! What the hell did I do wrong?! I loved you and I still do! It's not fair."

"[Name], please let me-"

"No!" You screeched. "No, don't! There's nothing to explain. You don't love me, and you never did. What we had was a fleeting moment and I was dumb enough to believe it."

"Please, don't push me away. Let me explain-"

"I'm not pushing you away! God dammit, Saeyoung. I am holding on for dear life, but I need you to need me back! But ... You don't want me. I mean, who would at this point? I'm pathetic." You said, looking away from him and staring at the ground as tears rolled down your face.

Before Saeyoung could say another word, a nurse with an extra security guards came into the room. The nurse looked at the room that was now in disarray and sent a sharp look towards Saeyoung.

"Sir, I'm going to need you to leave. Refuse and you will be escorted out." The nurse warned.

"I'm her husband." Saeyoung tried to protest.

"Ex-husband," You said, finally raising your gaze to meet his. "I-I want a divorce. I can't do this anymore."

You pulled the ring off of your shaking fingers. You bit your lip, willing yourself not to break in front of him.

"D...Divorce? [Name], no, please-"

You chucked the ring at him, to which he barely caught. "Go marry MC with that ring. I'm sure it'll make her happy." Your voice cracked as you spoke, fueling your self-hate. Why couldn't you be strong just this once? Why did he have to make so damn weak?

"[Name], please. It isn't like that! If you would just hear me out. I... I don't love her, okay? I love you. You're my wife okay? You're the only... honey, why are you crying?" He began to explain, taking a step forward towards you.

You clutched your chest as it burned painfully. Unable to control the tears that fell from your face, you fell to your knees and truly began to cry. The pain in your heart was too much to bear. It was like all the problems in your life finally came crashing down on you, lighting your heart aflame. His infidelity was the final match that lit your heart into flames.

"[Name]!" Saeyoung exclaimed reaching out towards you. The security guard reached out and grasped his biceps, roughly pulling him back. "No! Let go! She needs me!"

Your cries blocked out any other sounds. Everything was muffled as you kneeled beside your bed, one hand coming to press the heel of your hand against your eye. The tears just wouldn't stop and you hated it.

The nurse came to you after Saeyoung had been dragged out. She helped your crying form to your feet and sat you down on the bed. She picked up everything you had thrown and placed it back where it was before. She gently pushed you down on the bed and brought the covers up.

Somehow, through all your crying, you managed to hear her speak.

"Miss Choi, is there anyone else you'd like for me to contact?" The nurse questioned as she refilled your cup of water.

You nodded, attempting to calm yourself down as you wiped the tears from your eyes. Your ring finger felt to bare. 

"M-My mother." You forced out, voice straining.

The nurse nodded and left you alone for the time being. You glanced at the security guards, who stared at you with blank looks before you turned away and faced the window.

The absence of the ring on your finger made you feel utterly naked and vulnerable.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is short im sorry T_T
> 
> there was more to it but i decided to cut it out and put it for the next chap.
> 
> did anyone see the one tree hill reference i slipped in there? that line always breaks my heart :(
> 
> also if the whole suicide watch is inaccurate, im sorry i tried i my best
> 
> also,,,, saeyoung appears a little wishy washy,,, thats bc of how im planning to end this story ;)


	3. Chapter 3

Not a day later did your mother show up to visit you.

The time spent while you waited for her was horrible. You were watched every single moment of your day. Whether you were eating or using the bathroom, toque security guards were always watching you. People came in to ask you questions, and every single time you told them the same thing. You began to regret showing up here in the first place. This wasn't your smartest idea.

When your mother arrived, you were still facing the window, staring at the gray sky. She called your name, but you were unresponsive. You felt so hollow ... as if you weren't actually there. You didn't feel a thing.

Your mother came around the bed and placed a hand on your shoulder. "[Name]?"

She sat down on the empty space you provided on the bed, rubbing your shoulder slowly. "Talk to me, honey. What's wrong?"

You tore your gaze from the window to look at her. She looked distressed and worried. It showed in her eyes and complexion. You did this to her. 

"Mama..." You whispered, a frown tugging at your lips. "I'm so sorry..."

"Don't be. It's okay, honey." She replied in a soft tone.

"I want to go home." You whispered, voice trembling. 

She frowned. "Do you want me to bring Saeyoung?"

She didn't know. Of course she didn't know. All the times she's called you since you had been married, you never bothered to tell her. 

"He's cheating on me," You said in a lifeless tone.

Your mother stayed silent. She stopped rubbing your shoulder for a moment, hand gripping your shoulder tightly. Rage flashed in her eyes for a mere second before it dissolved. She continued to rub your shoulder comfortingly.

"Baby ... I'm so sorry. You deserve so much better than him." She said, tucking a strand of your tangled hair behind your ear.

Bottom lip trembling, you met your mother's gaze with glossy eyes. "He is my soulmate, mother. T-There is no one better than him."

"No, [Name]. He cheated on you. He doesn't value you as he should." Your mother retorted, eyebrows furrowing.

It was true. The moment he decided on touching a woman that wasn't you, your marriage ended. The act alone proves that he no longer needed you, that he no longer valued you. You were no longer his shiny, new toy that he loved. You were merely a roughed up, damaged old toy that belong in the trash. You didn't deserve him. You never did.

"It ... isn't fair." You weakly whimpered, hand fisting the sheets. "Why am I not enough for him? What did I fucking do wrong?!"

"You didn't do anything wrong! He's the self prick! Don't degrade yourself because of his actions." She snapped, eyes full of rage. "He never deserved you. You are too good for him, just know that."

"But Mama..." You croaked, eyes welling with tears once more. "I want him to deserve me! I want to be with him... but he doesn't want to be with me. I can't let him go, Mama."

A sharp exhale left your mother' mouth as she shut her eyes tightly, hands falling into her lap and balling into fists. "You have to understand how much it angers me to see you like this. The fact that your scum of a husband reduced you to this makes me want to do nothing more than beat the life out of him."

"Mama..."

"No, you listen to me." She said, opening her eyes to meet your tearful gaze. "You can no longer be with him. Honey, I want you to get better but if you stay with him, things will only get worse."

Your bottom lip trembled . "I already gave him the ring..."

She paused for a moment, the rage diminishing from her eyes. A small smile tugged at her lips as he placed a comforting hand on your face. "Honey, everything's going to be okay. Don't you worry your pretty little head, okay?"

You wished that you could. Ever since Saeyoung was pushed out that door, you'd been wanting to run back into his arms and place that ring where it rightfully belongs.

* * *

 

You had only stayed for three more days.

Your mother came to visit for a short period of time. The day after you had told her about Saeyoung's infidelity, she came with bloody knuckles. You didn't ask any questions, but you worried for Saeyoung's wellbeing. There couldn't have been anyone else that your mother would've beat the living daylights out of. Multiple times Saeyoung tried to come visit you - even Saeran - but both were declined because your 'therapist' had deemed them hazards to your mental health.

Which wasn't entirely wrong.

Being watched every moment of the day put you on edge. You tried to act as normal as possible under their watchful eye, hoping that you'd be released under a week from this hell hole. Every day you'd speak with your therapist, telling her about your depression that you've had since you were a teen. When she had asked what happened between you and your husband, you lied. There was a silver of hope in you that Saeyoung would come like a knight in shining armor and rescue you from this prison.

Which he ended up doing.

The day hadn't been any different than the last. You woke up, ate the horrible hospital breakfast, used the bathroom, and then sat in bed for hours on end. Sometimes you'd pick up the skethbook by your bed and doodled aimlessly, most of the time shading the paper until the led of your pencil wore down. But once the afternoon rolled around, your door opened to reveal your therapist with a security guard that held all of your old clothes. Behind them ... was Saeyoung.

You sat up quickly in your bed, hands nervously fisting the sheets.

"Good afternoon, Mrs. Choi. As of today your being discharged. I'll send your local pharmacy the prescription for your meds, and I want you to take them every morning and night on a full stomach. I've also signed you up to a therapist that I want you to visit three times a week. It's up to you what days to choose. Can you handle that for me?" Your therapist explained.

You glanced at Saeyoung, who gave you a small smile. You turned back to your therapist and nodded. "Yes."

The forced smile on your therapist's face made you feel uneasy. The security guard handed you the clothes and stepped outside with the therapist. The two security guards inside of your room didn't budge, not even with the look Saeyoung gave them. He picked up the clothes and stood in front of you, hand cupping your cheek.

You felt repulsed at his touch. But your body refused to move. You've been yearning for his touch for so long now. 

"Baby... I've been trying to see you these past days but they wouldn't let me in." Saeyoung said, helping you onto your feet.

Your body trembled when he began to untie the hospital gown. "I-I know. I heard the nurses."

The hospital gown pooled at your feet. All you wore was your underwear, no bra. You felt incredibly vulnerable and not in a good way.

The sight of your naked breasts did not seem to phase him. It was nothing he's seen before. He picked up your bra and helped you put it on, clipping it in the back. "They wouldn't even let Saeran in simply because we look alike."

You shut your eyes to try and seize the trembling. Saeyoung took noticed and shushed you quietly, rubbing his hands soothingly on your eyes. "Just breathe, okay? You're fine. You're going to be okay."

"I miss you." You whimpered, taking a step forward and placing your forehead against his chest.

"I know baby, I know. I miss you too."

Hollow. You felt hollow. His words felt hollow. But here you were, clinging to him as if he were your life line.

Which, by all means, he was.

He picked up your jeans and slid them onto you, ignoring the shiver that coursed through your body when his knuckles brushed your inner thigh. You hugged your waist tightly, the trembling subduing in the slightest. He picked up your oversized black sweater - which actually belonged to him - and slid it onto you. Once you were dressed, he placed a kiss on your forehead and caressed your cheek. You both stayed still and silent for a while, but you still felt vulnerable.

"Saeyoung ..." You whispered, lifting your left hand to place it on his chest, fingers curling slightly. 

He hummed in response.

"The ring ... I want the ring." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and now begins,,,, the codependency :x
> 
> and ik the reader just said she wanted to divorce saeyoung but remember,,, she is very unstable,,, so proper decisions cant be made in her state :x
> 
> man i really want to salvage this relationship but i only have two possible reasons for this and both are equally angsty but we'll see
> 
> also school has just started and i want to DIE
> 
> so do expect my updates to b v v v slow...


End file.
